much to do about nothing

I don't really have much to write about today. Not that there has been a lack of things going on, I have had alot on my mind. All things seem to work themselves out, lingering questions find answers with time. Let's look at perspective maybe for a minute, for me it brings challenges into friendships, relationships within my family, marriage and random social interaction. We all have perspectives that may vary on situations or relationships, but where do these perspectives come from. Well google says:

position: a way of regarding situations or topics etc.; "consider what follows from the positivist view"
the appearance of things relative to one another as determined by their distance from the viewer .

It's basically how you see or choose to percieve things from where your standing. Last week I went to a Tibetan Buddhist mediation for the first time. It was not my first interaction with the teacher I had taken two of her classes and received reiki from her four times and I suppose you could say that we were familiar with each other to a degree slightly more than superficially. Anyway, I am comfortable enough in this atmosphere to be myself. There was discussion to good length on Tibetan Buddhism before meditation the perfect rebirth, reincarnation, death, the hot and cold worlds, buddhachitta, monks and the community of Buddhists. Allot to wet the intellectual appetite, but there was a problem. Any time she would compare likeness or differences of Buddhism to Christianity, catholics or Mormons, her eyes would reference me, maybe others who were there that were not Buddhist as well, but because she knew I am Mormon it seemed she would look to me to validate her comparisons or perspective. Well for someone like me who's been a member all her life but has only a little more understanding of the teachings and structure of the church than an active 8 year old. I didn't feel it my place. So I would say nothing, then in comparing monks freely without compensation serving others to organized religion she asked me if bishops, priests or deacons get paid. I hesitated for a moment, was I sure enough to answer this question? So I said no, all the people that I know from church have regular jobs to support themselves, but are called to be of service to those in the community, and they can accept or decline such a calling.

She may have been surprised that in this way there was more a likeness than she thought. In this example I was being looked at as the direct representation of all Mormons and in a way being set apart as different from her based on her experiences of Mormons. Now same night, as we were getting ready to leave a few of us were standing outside talking and the teacher said in reference to a fellow Buddhist who had attended with me that night,"This man is an awesome healer, he just doesn't know it yet or wont admit it." I shook his hand and said something cheesy like maybe some of your awesomeness will rub off on me now. Well of course from where I was standing I thought I was being cute. Well perhaps from her perspective I was being disrespectful and she was quite serious when she said,"..no, really he is, you don't know what he can do!". Well ya, I just met the guy. Anyway, I don't know exactly why I do things like that when I am first meeting people, but I'm slightly uncomfortable with introductions when they are followed by blank stares and silence.

Another example is when Adam gets angry with one of the kids and calls them something mean like stupid shit. He sees whatever it is in that moment that they did as warranting that reaction. This to me is always intolerable and is one of the few things we argue about. Of course we are all guilty of doing this maybe once or twice in heat of anger. Maybe it's a female thing, but I always tend to think of what problems my kid is going to face in the future, a year from now or ten if he thinks he's a stupid shit. Further more, I believe that if every time my son did something displeasing to me I told him he was stupid, in no time he would believe it and perhaps act it, because he looks to me to validate who he is at 4 years old. Now I've gone into something deeper than just perspective, but if when you look at a child and you only perceive a child you do that PERSON a disservice, every time. They are future adults and caregivers of our society, humanity, and mother earth and more often then not we learn from them. I am not saying that Adam uses stupid as pet names for our kids, but I do feel very strongly about name calling.

I didn't like being looked at as though I knew nothing about other religions or philosophy. I don't like being stereotyped, how others perceive us can sometimes be hurtful if we chose to allow it. How we perceive ourselves can be crucial to our continuous growth and development and with a good self image who really cares what anyone else thinks they see. I guess with kids in bed, husband passed out early and time in front of the computer, I actuallay do have plenty to write about. If you read this whole post you must have extra time on your hands to!